i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You're breaking my sexual little heart
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
