and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Do vagina's smell?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
