I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
