apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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