my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
