I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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