I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
