chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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