Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
