Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
