In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
