she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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