I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
