is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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