whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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