Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
