I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
