Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
