What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
