btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
