operation harelip BJ is a go
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My dick has a subreddit
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
