he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize