definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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