Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I am puke
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
