eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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