wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
