Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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