so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
false alarm, still single
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
