google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize