one might say we're banned from that church
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
