dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
