I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
