you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
