Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
