So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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