I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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