imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
