I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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