wrigley field is MILF paradise
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
