She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
