I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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