in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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