i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize