I want to stick my p in your. b.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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