Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
