did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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