JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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