So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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