I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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