This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
