I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
