i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
