Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
