Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
