hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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