im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize