We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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