I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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