walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Success! We fucked roommates!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
