I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Couch. On fire.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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