D3 body, D1 cock
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
