Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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