I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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