just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The beer is more important than you right now.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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