i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
i think i just lost a toe
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I party with great urgency now.
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