I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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