Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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