I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
