do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
