its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
