why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Randomize
